From the Gilbert and Sullivan 1881 hit Patience, there’s this little ditty that always seems an appropriate description of some certain pretentious person. You might even know more than one person this applies to. Since most of us can’t remember 1881 very well, I have the lyrics below the fold:
If You Want to Shine in that High Aesthetic Line (Gilbert & Sullivan, 1881)
If you’re anxious for to shine in the high æsthetic line as a man of culture rare,
You must get up all the germs of the transcendental terms, and plant them
ev’rywhere.
You must lie upon the daisies and discourse in novel phrases of your
complicated state of mind,
The meaning doesn’t matter if it’s only idle chatter of a transcendental kind.
And ev’ry one will say,
As you walk your mystic way,
“If this young man expresses himself in terms too deep for me,
Why, what a very singularly deep young man this deep young man must be!”
Be eloquent in praise of the very dull old days which have long since passed
away,
And convince ’em, if you can, that the reign of good Queen Anne was Culture’s
palmiest day.
Of course you will pooh-pooh whatever’s fresh and new, and declare it’s crude
and mean,
For Art stopped short in the cultivated court of the Empress Josephine.
And ev’ryone will say,
As you walk your mystic way,
“If that’s not good enough for him which is good enough for me,Why, what a very cultivated kind of youth this kind of youth must be!”
Then a sentimental passion of a vegetable fashion must excite your languid
spleen,
An attachment a la Plato for a bashful young potato, or a not-too-French French
bean!
Though the Philistines may jostle, you will rank as an apostle in the high
æsthetic band,
If you walk down Piccadilly with a poppy or a lily in your mediæval hand.
And ev’ryone will say,
As you walk your flow’ry way,
“If he’s content with a vegetable love which would certainly not suit me,
Why, what a most particularly pure young man this pure young man must be!”
And today we have, on the same theme, a piece by everybodies favorite Brazilian pop group CSS. One thing I like is just how much fun they seem to be having, and how much satire there is in their work. In any case, the vocabulary has gotten a little more–err–direct since 1881.:
Listen to the Song here:
CSS “Cansei De Ser Sexy”— Art Bitch
Art Bitch (CSS 2006)
My art is called egocentric soft porno
Or maybe it’s just narcisism
My one and only subject
Goes from something like anything but
Me ismWouldn’t it be easier for beardsley
He could drop the paintings
And photograph his penis
Or take pics of the chicks
Yeah, you know what i mean
Wouldn’t it be easier for escher
He could drop the marh
And make it happen on his matress
2 girls and a cam
3 girls and a cam
Put a dog there and you got polaroid scamI ain’t no art-ist
I am an art-bitch
I sell my panties to the men i eat
I have no port-fo-lee-o
Cuz i only show
Where there’s free al-co-holI am so hardcore
I sell my crap and people ask for more
Call me re-vo-lu-tionaire
I poo on a plate and get it published on visionaire
What i do, it’s called art-shit
And don’t you dare make fun of me
Cuz everything i do was featured on the pages of ID
I ain’t no art-ist
I am an art-bitch
I sell my panties to the men i eat
I have no port-fo-lee-o
Cuz i only show
Where there’s free al-co-hol
I ain’t no art-ist
I am an art-bitch
I sell my paintings to the men i eat
I have no port-fo-lee-o
Cuz i only show
Where there’s free al-co-holLick lick lick my art-tit
Suck suck suck my art-holeI ain’t no art-ist
I am an art-bitch
I sell my panties to the men i eat
I have no port-fo-lee-o
Cuz i only show
Where there’s free al-co-hol
eee_eff 